“Technology Super Genie Wizard Extraordinare” was Not in the Job Description

Dear Patrons and people near of my place of work (the name of which I will not disclose),

You seem to be rather confused as to what my responsabilities as an employee are. Seeing as how one of my responsibilities is to help make your lives easier, I decided to make you a couple of helpful pie charts using MS Paint. You’re welcome.

Note: These are my required responsibilites

Key Word: NOT my job

Thinking I can deal with your fines is completely legitimate, and is the least annoying thing that people mistakenly think I do. What does make me mad is people wanting me to go get their books for them. People call in and are like, “will you pick out four books about animal rights, two books about tofu, and six books about how to stop hating my life and eat bacon again?” And I’m like, “Uhh, I guess,” because I’m actually a very non-confrontational person to people I don’t know. But I totally hate those people.

I think it’s a toss up between whether I hate picking up people’s lunch or the fact that everyone thinks I’m a printer genie. Probably the printer genie thing. You never realize how whiny people are until they can’t print their stuff out. They’re all, “Ummm, there’s something wrong with the printer. It won’t print the thing and the thing says the thing’s messed up.” And I’m all, “ok buddy, slow down on the technical jargon and I’ll see what I can do.” So I go over, look at it, press some buttons at random, and hope it works. Sometimes it does. When it doesn’t, people really get pissed. At me. And I’m all, “Well I’m sorry. There’s a computer lab next door and I suck at technology almost as much as you suck at not freaking out over a printer so you really shouldn’t expect me to be able to fix things. Sorry “Technology Super Genie Wizard Extraordinare” was not in the job description and I got my Nerd Degree in Harry Potter Trivia instead of IT. I’ll work on that.” Jerks.

-Valerie