Celebrity Obsession

Browsing Youtube today and the featured video was about the rumors surrounding Justin Beiber’s girlfriend. Justin Beiber is 7 years old. All of his songs involve love. If you have to get your mommy to drive you on a date, then you are not in love. If your concept of “love” consists of sharing your juicebox during recess, it is not love.

So I decided to type in letters in the Youtube search bar to see what came up. “J” was “Justin Beiber” “Justin Beiber one time” and “Justin Beiber baby”. 6 out of 10 were justin beiber hits. The first hit for “H” was “hannah montana”. “M” was michael jackson and then miley cyrus. 

First of all, all these michael jackson fans that somehow come out of nowhere need to settle down. “OMG I LOVE MJ” no, you bandwagon. I am not a huge michael jackson fan so I am not gonna pretend like I am. Thriller and Smooth Criminal are good, but it did not ruin my life when he died. It was sad, but so was Heath Ledger and Patrick Swayze’s death. No one is walking around wearing Dirty Dancing T-shirts, but I saw a 4 year old walking around with an MJ shirt on.

You are too young to even know about him, so you know that the parents put her in it. People need to settle down. Celebrities are (mostly) talented with the exception of beiber, cyrus, and the jonas bros. They provide entertainment. They provide a service. No one follows an architect on Twitter. I never heard of someone stalking Bobby Flay. Why is it just actors and singers. Half of them can’t act and can’t sing.

How can America halt this epidemic? Delete Twitter. Cancel most magazines: people, star and all tabloids. Make stalking equal the death penalty. Make TMZ a federal crime. I believe these changes need to be instituted now to reduce celeb obsession. It is getting ridiculous. If I hear any more about how Kate Gosselin shouldn’t be on dancing with the stars, I am going to cut someone. SHE ISN”T A STAR! OF COURSE SHE SHOLDN”T BE ON DANCING WITH THE STARS! Her husband cheated on her and she is super fertile. Woop dee doo.

I’d like to leave you with one final thought: Octo-mom has paparazzi. The problem is more serious than we thought.

-Kyle

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1 Comment

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One response to “Celebrity Obsession

  1. klp

    I agree with the Justin Bieber statement. The “Bieber-Feaver” needs to be stopped before it becomes fatal.

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